Napapagod Ka Na Ba

Napapagod Ka Na Ba

By Carlo Gamboa

Napapagod ka na ba sa buhay?

Iyong araw-araw na pagsubok na walang humpay,

Na sa bawat tibok ng puso mo ay kaba ang bigay,

Napapagod ka na ba sa buhay?

Ano ba yung pagsubok ngayong araw?

Bagay bang kulang sayo, o isang gabing mapanglaw?

O di kaya’y isang problemang dala ng puso mong uhaw,

Itong pag-ibig na inaasam, para bang ligaw

Kung iisipin mo’y nakakapagod nga naman,

At bakit walang tigil itong  nginig na ng laman,

Bakit? Bakit? Bakit?, ang tanong sayong isipan,

Ako pa bang sa mundo ang bait ay tangan

Napapagod ka na ba sa buhay mo?

Sapagkat nais ko lang sabihin ay “huwag po”

Dahil ang puso kapag sa pag-asa ay puno

Ay kakapit pilit at kusang tatayo.

Against Deception

Recently I saw an article about the unveiling of the Satanic Statue in Detroit. As someone new to the Christian faith and as a curious researcher, I took time to read it.

I normally would let this pass, but reading another article about giving children colouring books that introduce Satanism really made me decide to write my thoughts.

The freedom of religion and the rights that go along with it will be an unending debate. We could spend hours, days, or even years discussing the different views of each religion and the interpretation of those who believe, so let me just go along the keypoints that I would like to take out of the article and perhaps shed some light on many readers, particularly kids and teens, and even adults who might be deceived by the words and presentation of what Satanism is.

The statue itself is impressive: almost nine feet tall, and weighing in at around a ton. The horned idol sits on a throne adorned with a pentagram, but it is the idol’s wings, and not his chair, that curiously evoke the Iron Throne from a certain celebrated HBO fantasy series. He has the jarring horns of a virile ram but the biceps of a guy who lifts four or five times a week. His legs, which are crossed, end not in feet but in hooves. It might seem more menacing if not for the two bronze-statue children standing on either side of him — a girl on his left; a boy on his right; both are looking up at him earnestly.

What is impressive with the statue? Isn’t it menacing enough to see kids looking up to it earnestly? In the bible, there are several references that we can reflect on such as

Exodus 20:4

"You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. And

Leviticus 19:4

"'Do not turn to idols or make metal gods for yourselves. I am the LORD your God.

It is said that God created us (humans) in his own likeness and image, are we anywhere near the image of the statue? Of course not! Therefore, the baphomet does not represent god or belief in God. It was made to deceive us, make us believe that Satanism is nothing serious, just a state of mind.

The world poses too much problems nowadays, the social media and the internet makes access to these articles easy for children and teens. Teenagers who might have some problems will find the information entertaining, tolerating unacceptable behaviors, views on suffering, and embracing a belief opposite to the Christian way. It is high time that people who are guided by the Holy Spirit make a move towards these events, may it be through drastic actions, through prayers, or in my case – through writing.

To parents and friends, guiding our children also mean leading them. It is not an easy task to do. Suffering is life’s way of telling us to “believe” in God and to “trust” in Him that things will be just fine, let us make these challenges of faith. While we see the world evolve to tolerance of Satanism (Detroit), let us keep in mind that we all have a choice, free will makes us human. Let us choose the right path leading to the Lord, let not these happenings hinder our practice of the Christian faith and make us falter, but further strengthen us , so that we may, in our own little way, be an inspiration to many as we praise our one and only Lord, Jesus Christ, and follow the right path to live a happy and healthy life.

Proud of you, as always!

Written March 19, 2014

Its March once again, I always wanted to make this month as a turning point for my kids' academic life. It is when we actually measure how well they did in school and what to do next to reach their targets.

Though we (my wife and I) push them to strive and study well, we are also aware of their potentials as students and their limitations, it is not always high-time. Today, we received the "happy-gram" for both Andre and Angela. Andre got an award for adapting well (He is under A-gift, special class for special kids), something I didn't really expect. Angela, on the other hand, ranked 3rd and is Best in Math.

Though Angela ranked first last year, I do not want to take things against her. I wanted her to feel the same as though she still ranked first. When I came home from work, I immediately noticed her frustrations, nevertheless, we kept on telling her that we are still very proud of her. I'm having a hard time talking seriously with Angela (since we always talk with jokes), so I decided to write her a letter, I know in some years, she will be able to understand better. So here goes:

Dear Angela,

Congratulations Baby Girl! You did well and we are very proud of you. Being 3rd in class is not the end of the world, some even barely pass exams and here you are feeling sad. One thing is for sure, "Its fine with me and your mom". But here's the thing, all the results you are experiencing right now are because of your actions. It may be as complex as your study habits or as simple as the time you go to sleep at night and how you spend your weekends and free time.

It is always good to be on top, but learning to accept "temporary falls" is a far better experience. It is what makes you human. In fact you will notice that as you grow older, we try our best to let you have freedom, through it,  you will be molded to be a responsible person even without our supervision.

Though things are fine, I would like to make a gentle reminder that "you should always make your studies your first priority", not for us, but for you.

So enough of those sad faces okay?! after all, we just have one Pony left to complete your latest collection, we'll get that soon!.

I have prepared a great summer for you, regardless of what you've achieved, you are my daughter, and you deserve the best. Your childhood memories will make you a better person in the future, I have always believed in balance of academics, practical application, and psycho-emotional factors. This is why we give you ample time to play, this is why we take you to the movies, this is why we tell you to do your homework, this is why we dine in different restaurants, this is why we tell you to study and read books, this is why we travel...and these, all these are the reasons why you are the best! Your life as an 8-year old kid is in balance. The best balance that your mom and I can provide.

May all these experiences and our love be the foundation that would make you feel better soon. You already had a glimpse of what awaits you this summer since I have given your mom our schedules. Look ahead Baby Girl, move forward, you did great!

                                                                                                                                    Love,

                                                                                                                                   Daddy

When we are older

Written December 21, 2012

When we are older we’ll surely miss

Those happy moments we hug and kiss

Those moments we travel, oh what a bliss

When we are older we’ll surely miss

For when the time pass the kids will grow

And I am older, oh what do you know

By then I hope I can still show

All the love inside and inner glow

But then again you need not worry

For when that time comes we will not hurry

For fun and tides we sure can carry

With everything we have in our mem’ry

And so to God as time is HIS

We should pray hard for brod and sis

For Him to bless our little kids

Who when we’re older we’ll surely miss 

Living Each Day as Parents - Something to be thankful for!

Written December 4, 2012

Parenting--such a short word to describe multiple functions that go with it.

So what do we really know about Parenting? When my wife and I started to have kids, we hardly know what to do. The sequential aspect of taking care of children is not really a walk in the park. It takes a lot of dedication, love, and commitment.

We started with Angela, and a year after came Andre. There were lots of challenges as Andre was diagnosed with mild autism. I was also starting my career then as Junior Executive, I was so busy with work and how to climb the corporate ladder in order to have a more stable status and position. My wife, Pinky, is also adjusting as full-time mom. Those first two years were indeed the toughest.

As the kids continue to grow, Pinky and I also grew with them. They made us more responsible and mature. Our priorities were set differently.

We started to find more time to be with each other. Go out and call those moments "FAMILY DAYS". Slowly, Pinky and I had an invisible division of tasks. I work on the finances, balance time and schedules for work, vacation, and education of the kids, ensure all utilities, basic needs, and leisure are all accounted and planned for. Pinky, on the other hand, ensures the well-being of the family, she takes care of the kids, she guides Angela and Andre on their studies, she also manages the house - making sure that stocks are always available, she packs and unpack all our things when going on a trip or vacation. For more than six years now these are the things we continue to do. We simply live each day at a time.

I am not certain if we are to be considered as "modern parents" but I believe that in a short period of time we have managed our tasks well. We innovated the way we do things. A particular example is how we prepare Angela for exams. We believe in reward system and we have an unorthodox way of driving Angela to succeed rather than to fail. Before exams, Pinky reviews Angela (This is the serious phase), then after this, we let her relax, we either go to malls, or simply take her out for a day trip, have ice cream or play in the park or a play place (This is the relaxed phase), this is also when we talk and connect to to our daughter, we tell her things that would enliven her spirit, we let her imagine rewards for good grades, we also tell her that we simply love her whatever results she may give us. For us, this has been an effective driver for Angela, we do not imply pressure directly, instead we provide her options, options that imaginatively will lead her to choose to do the best she can in her craft.

Supporting the kids in their choice of extra-curricular activities is also one big part of our parenting experience. We enrolled Angela in ballet class since she loves dancing. We buy educational toys for Andre and supply him with special food to keep his focus in-tact. We also go out and let Andre engage in physical activities such as running and playing with other kids.

The year is about to end once more, I am glad that I was able to provide the family with all the necessities in life. I am thankful to the Lord that beyond the basics we are still able to go on vacations, dine wherever we want, afford good clothes, have family days. I thank the Lord for making it possible to bring my wife and kids simple "pasalubongs" everyday. I thank the Lord for good health and a happy life with my Family. Most importantly, I thank the Lord for allowing me and Pinky to be parents to our two loving kids--Angela and Andre.

The Message of his Silence

Written February 2, 2012

Andre is now 4 years and 8 months old, he's been engaged in therapy since before he turned 2. Since my little boy was born, until this very moment that I am writing this note, he hasn't spoken a word yet, well none that we understood (sometimes he seems to utter words but we cannot comprehend what are those and what he actually meant.

Andre is a bright boy, he is still our baby until now (at least that's how I look at him and call him everyday.."Baby boy"). He plays a lot specially with me. I wish I could hear him say "hey dad, can we play now?" Or just a simple "goodbye and hello", but I just have to face the truth that I can't...Not yet!

The best thing about Andre's silence is his ability to connect with me and my wife and to his sister Angela. Andre, next to God, is our family's center. We try to give him ample attention, outmost understanding, love and care. Andre never fails to share these things back to us.

My morning will not be complete without him waking me up with the box of his almond milk he got from the ref (Andre is an early riser). He would wake me or her mom up just to tell us to give him his morning milk.

In the evening when I come home, he patiently waits for me to get settled and cleaned up and we start playing, he never gets tired. We laugh, we play, we laugh, as if I could hear him say "I'm enjoying this dad, what took you so long to get home?" After we play, I usually ask him to give me a hug, I really like to giving him those baby hugs. When I hug my little boy and tell him "I love you", I can hear his heart says "I love you too dad" his smile after we hug and as we settle down and call it a night, is just enough to let me endure a day's hard work.

Andre's silence is a beauty beneath. His silence speaks more than the absence of words coming out in his mouth. Most of the time I ask myself when will he ever talk to me? When will we share stories like how his sister and I do? When will he say what pasalubong he wants? When will he call me on the phone just to tell me a short kid-made story? Perhaps next month, or next year, or the next next year, the truth is, I really don't know, I am not certain, but I am not worried, I am not hopeless, I am not giving up! I will keep on believing, I will still hope and expect the best, and I will continue to listen to his own words, the words of his laughter, the words of his heart, for only through those I can connect to my son. If one day and my life ends and he still cannot speak, I will still have memories of him and how we communicated with our actions and activities together.

Autism is not an illness, it is a cure for people like me and you, it is a reminder of how God loves us and how special he made each and everyone of us.

If I could live my life over again as a dad, I will still choose to have Andre and his sister as my kids. For through them I found strength, I found peace amidst all their tantrums and playful nature, and most importantly, I found purpose and a well-driven life that the Lord wants me to live.

Why He is SPECIAL

Written October 23, 2009

Seven months ago I asked a big question to God. I asked HIM why is my little boy SPECIAL?. I waited for a whisper or a knock, but never did I received any.

I was wondering all the while why the challenge was given to me and my wife.

Seven months ago we learned that Andre, our youngest, is Autistic, oh yes, he is SPECIAL.

Seven months ago I saw how devastated my wife was when we learned from an expert that there was no cure for such condition, just therapy.

Seven months ago I tried to deny my disappointment that my only son is SPECIAL. I cannot express it otherwise. I felt pain as I expected nothing less from Andre. I felt sadness crawling inside my heart and yet I cannot show, I must remain silent and strong so me and my wife can carry-on.

We started the usual check-ups, therapy, special toys, special food, and special attention for Andre, the months were as slow as one can ever imagine. The clock ticks in my mind and I was almost at the edge of hope because I cannot see improvement on Andre.

There were times I envy my wife for having so much passion in being a mom to Andre and there were times I envy other dads having the usual time with their sons. I know I can never have those with Andre, not for a couple of years or more.

I cannot buy Andre the latest Transformers, nor any other toy that a boy his age would dream about. He would just break it, and throw it the most.

Seven moths ago I know inside me I was trying to hold back. I was waiting for an answer. Why is he SPECIAL?

Then one day, a date i cannot remember and but day I cannot forget, suddenly, I reached out to my son. I started talking to him (though I got no answers since he could not speak yet), I started playing with him (though he's busy doing some other things), I started to focus on him (though he cannot focus yet on so many things).

While I was doing these things, I suddenly saw improvement on him, he started uttering sounds (like he wish to talk to me), he started playing with me (like I am his real playmate), and he started to look at me with delight (like telling me that everything will be just fine and I just need to wait). Remarkably, Andre's therapy results went amazing.

I cannot let the day pass that we won't have time to play. I usually arrive home before 10pm from work, i spend even 15minutes playing with Andre and Angela, no more quantity time but perhaps just quality time with them. I cannot forget the first time that Andre hugged me and the first time he kissed me (with open mouth - since he still doesn't know how to kiss). I bring those memories with me all the time.

Seven months ago i thought Andre is not improving with all the efforts that we made, but seven months ago the only one who wasn't really ready was not Andre, it was me all along.

Seven months ago I asked God a silly question, Why is Andre SPECIAL?

Seven months ago I thought HE didn't answer. You know what? I just didn't LISTEN well.

I wrote this because I want to share a real experience of a dad. Some dads out there might have the same feelings or thoughts. I cannot blame them, but believe me, you will find greater happiness when you discover what i have discovered why my boy is SPECIAL!