Seven months ago I asked a big question to God. I asked HIM why is my little boy SPECIAL?. I waited for a whisper or a knock, but never did I received any.
I was wondering all the while why the challenge was given to me and my wife.
Seven months ago we learned that Andre, our youngest, is Autistic, oh yes, he is SPECIAL.
Seven months ago I saw how devastated my wife was when we learned from an expert that there was no cure for such condition, just therapy.
Seven months ago I tried to deny my disappointment that my only son is SPECIAL. I cannot express it otherwise. I felt pain as I expected nothing less from Andre. I felt sadness crawling inside my heart and yet I cannot show, I must remain silent and strong so me and my wife can carry-on.
We started the usual check-ups, therapy, special toys, special food, and special attention for Andre, the months were as slow as one can ever imagine. The clock ticks in my mind and I was almost at the edge of hope because I cannot see improvement on Andre.
There were times I envy my wife for having so much passion in being a mom to Andre and there were times I envy other dads having the usual time with their sons. I know I can never have those with Andre, not for a couple of years or more.
I cannot buy Andre the latest Transformers, nor any other toy that a boy his age would dream about. He would just break it, and throw it the most.
Seven moths ago I know inside me I was trying to hold back. I was waiting for an answer. Why is he SPECIAL?
Then one day, a date i cannot remember and but day I cannot forget, suddenly, I reached out to my son. I started talking to him (though I got no answers since he could not speak yet), I started playing with him (though he's busy doing some other things), I started to focus on him (though he cannot focus yet on so many things).
While I was doing these things, I suddenly saw improvement on him, he started uttering sounds (like he wish to talk to me), he started playing with me (like I am his real playmate), and he started to look at me with delight (like telling me that everything will be just fine and I just need to wait). Remarkably, Andre's therapy results went amazing.
I cannot let the day pass that we won't have time to play. I usually arrive home before 10pm from work, i spend even 15minutes playing with Andre and Angela, no more quantity time but perhaps just quality time with them. I cannot forget the first time that Andre hugged me and the first time he kissed me (with open mouth - since he still doesn't know how to kiss). I bring those memories with me all the time.
Seven months ago i thought Andre is not improving with all the efforts that we made, but seven months ago the only one who wasn't really ready was not Andre, it was me all along.
Seven months ago I asked God a silly question, Why is Andre SPECIAL?
Seven months ago I thought HE didn't answer. You know what? I just didn't LISTEN well.
I wrote this because I want to share a real experience of a dad. Some dads out there might have the same feelings or thoughts. I cannot blame them, but believe me, you will find greater happiness when you discover what i have discovered why my boy is SPECIAL!
No comments:
Post a Comment